Thursday, December 10, 2009

Isolation

I can't tell if it's the blue mass that is hanging over our city on the radar or the sickness the kids have been fighting. If it's the massive amount of snow and wind or the lack of sunlight. If it's that I haven't been out of the house since Tuesday or whatever, I've been placing myself in isolation lately.

While, yes, I have been basically locked in the house for several days because of the horrible weather and children who are under the weather, even more so I have been placing myself in a emotional isolation. I've been pushing everyone around me away the past couple of days. Yes, I've been locked in this house with my kids, but I haven't really interacted with them like I should have been. The TV has been on almost continuously under the pretense that "they need to rest to get better" and I've been absorbed with myself. I've been picking stupid fights with my husband (sorry, babe) and sulking. Housework and dishes have been left undone, laundry is piling up in the basement, our house is a mess. I just can't seem to get it together.

But it's over. I'm pulling myself out. The first step is admitting you have a problem, right? Tomorrow is going to be a good day - fun filled activities with the kids, catching up on the mess, no more moping. Tomorrow is going to be a better day.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Melissa, I am so sorry to read about your Grandma Rose passing away. Please accept my sympathy. I am sure that part of your isolation is grief. Don't be too hard on yourself. We all need to process the difficult times of life in different ways. I will keep you in my prayers. Thank you for keeping us up to date on you and your little guys (and the big guy too!) Love to all, Aunt Susie

Kim M said...

okay, I am using your post as my motivation. I have been exhausted this week and have avoided anything that wasn't an absolute "must do". This came at a good time since it is the start of my long weekend. I love you Sweetie! Enjoy those little guys, they grow way too fast.
Mom

Sara said...

OMG, I thought it was just me. Hang in there. Hopefully the sun will shine once over the next 5 months! :) Let me know if you need an escape, or reason to get out of the hosue. Shoot, you can drop the kids off and go get a coffee by yourself if you need that too! :) I totally know how you feel. Thank goodness for the Disney Channel!!!

CrysRich said...

Hang in there...I find myself in that situation more often than I'd like to admit. The important part is that you pull yourself out of it before it gets out of control.

Kristina said...

What a heartfelt, transparent post. I feel that way many times as well. This week has been that way for me - with Jon gone on a business trip, and Nathan crying all night. I find it is good to remind myself about God's love, even when I'm not being very lovely. :-)

Anonymous said...

Sure wish I could be an Aunt/Grandma that lives closer to little ones! I had so many "breaks" when my kids were little. I was spoiled. I will be praying for your ability to see Light at the end of the "tunnel" on lonely days! A. Jeanette