Sunday, February 22, 2009

Not Me! Monday

And now, my weekly foray into admitting my faults, a la MckMama style, so sit back, buckle up, and keep your arms and legs inside the car - this week was a doosy!

Right now, you would not see my dutifully typing up my Not Me! Monday list while watching the Oscars on television. I did not lay claim to the TV tonight and force my husband to watch the 3+ hour long telecast while I cheered on my favorites (yes! Heath and Kate won!). I do not look forward to this Sunday night every year. Nope, not me!

This week, you would not have caught me in a wide array of (ahem) questionable attire. These things did not include:
- purple strip socks worn with black high heels
- black, stretchy maternity pants (that I still haven't put away - six months after having my baby) that I wore out on a date night with my husband because I haven't done laundry in forever.
- the same (ahem) maternity shirt that I had worn on our trip home from my brother's house - without being washed - have I mentioned that I need to do laundry??

I did not come to the conclusion, this week, that I am the worst housekeeper/homemaker on the face of this planet. Seriously, I'm rather disgusting. I did not go a couple of days without showering because I had no reason to go out of the house. I did not actually leave the house during that time to "run to the store" and happen to see my neighbor at the store. I was not totally embarrassed to have been seen out in public having not showered that day. I did not leave approximately 2 1/2 days worth of dishes in my sink over the course of this week. They are not still there. I have not had intentions of vacuuming my rug in the living room all week long and have not actually gotten to it. I told you - I'm horrible. Uh, I mean, nope, not me!

I did not cause my husband to have a minor heart attack tonight by screeching at the top of my lungs (think someone who is deathly afraid of spiders seeing one crawling across their arm - like that) when I witnessed my 6 month old peeing on the carpet as his diaper was being changed. Seriously, I'm a mom - I see that kind of stuff all the time, right? I would never have such a reaction to something as harmless as urine. I did not laugh hysterically when my husband jumped violently after I startled him with my scream. I definitely did not laugh for approximately 10 minutes because I found the whole situation hilarious. Not me!

Lastly, I am not the best teacher in the world... My 2 year old did not count for me this week:
one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fourteen, fourteen, fourteen, fourteen, fourteen, fourteen, fourteen, fourteen... Good job, Jayce. Good job.

I do not have many other things (you know, dishes, laundry, vacuuming, etc.) that I should be doing right now. What have you not done this week??

2 comments: said...

I am calling "What Not to Wear". Stacy and Clinton would never approve of that attire!!!!

Shelleyrae33 said...

Don't worry...I also believe that I am the worst housekeeper ever. I have also gone several days without showering becuase I know i'm not leaving the house and it seems to much trouble. You're not alone!