Monday, January 5, 2009

Not Me! Monday

This is my weekly confessional of things that I would never do because, you see, I am the perfect mother...

Cutco knife 1 Melissa 0

I would never be so distracted while washing dishes that I would inadvertently slice my knuckle open with my extremely sharp Cutco knives.

I definitely would not allow my sick child to sit around and watch TV all day long because he wasn't feeling well. He definitely did not watch all four episodes of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse shows we have on demand 2 times yesterday. Nope, not me!

I did not ignore my child's crying for two hours (off and on in my defense, I mean, I didn't do that!) only to find out that he had gotten sick in his crib... definitely not me! But if I did, I definitely would have blogged about the whole experience here.

I would never take my child to the mall to play two days in a row. And expose him to the germs there (most likely the flu bug that he caught). And if I did, it would only be because other people wanted to go there... not me!

I definitely did not have to change my four-month-old's clothes 4 times yesterday because he'd pooped or peed on himself time and time again. And I definitely did not leave the 5th outfit on him after he'd spit up all over himself because I just couldn't change his clothes again.... I would never do that!

I did not play Bomberman with my infant child on my lap and my 2-year-old child on my mother's lap, both watching us play. My 2-year-old definitely does not still ask me to turn on "the game" even though we don't have the game. And I would never figure out a way to breastfeed while playing Bomberman one-handed. That would be insane!

Lastly, my 4-month-old would not be playing with the computer cord while I'm posting all these things that you would never catch me doing... Oops, that one is true! Gotta go!


Shelleyrae33 said...

Too cute! You do have to watch out for those Cutco knives...they're out to get you!

Kevin Mahan said...


When I get on your blog I feel like I'm listening to a celebrity write about her daring and incredible life. Thanks for letting us look in while you go through your life!

After this week you get the Mom of the Year award! See if you can top that last week in the next 51 weeks this year.


Jenney said...

I did NOT get to be #9 on MckMama's list this week! WAHOOOO. Hey, isn't this so insane and fun? Miss you!

Cathy said...

Great list!